Love to death. 23-year-old Anastasia from Azov died in Mariupol, her beloved Vlad is in captivity

Olha Oksenchuk, the younger sister of 25-year-old Vladyslav Oksenchuk, told the story of love and loss.

Love at First Sight

Nastya lived in Mariupol and served in Urzuf, where the major base of the Azov regiment was located. In 2019, training for recruits was organized; by that time she had already been serving while my brother had just joined. He took military nickname “Desmond.” Nastya later told me that she liked Vlad from the start, at first sight. She showed her mother a photo of Vlad on her phone and said: “Look what a nice guy, I should get to know him.” That's how their communication, friendship, and then love started.

My brother is a master of sports of Ukraine in athletics. Until he got almost 20, he spent his time actively: he ran different distances and played basketball. For as long as I can remember, Vlad said that he wanted to devote himself to military affairs. He strived for that desperately, he wanted that very much. And he didn't want to pretend that nothing was happening in Donbas.

He said that in the west of the country people lived as if nothing happened, went to restaurants, and rejoiced while in the east people were forced to survive under shelling.

Vlad told me that he had a very close person, that they served together in Azov. I first talked to his chosen one over the phone. Nastya and Vlad planned to take me from Kovel to Mariupol last summer, but it didn't work out. They spent all the time at the base, they were rarely at home, only on weekends. In winter, Vlad brought Nastya to us, we celebrated the New Year’s Eve together. During those three weeks, we became friends, got very close. First, Nastya went to Mariupol, and, a bit later, so did my brother. I couldn’t even imagine then that this could be our last meeting and such a cruel future awaited them.

Take a Picture of Your Food

On February 24, the first day of the full-scale invasion, I talked to Vlad and Nastya. They calmed us down — me, mom, and dad, they said that everything would be fine, would end up. They asked us not to worry about them: they would definitely survive. Nastya then said that they were moving — leaving their base and moving to another place.

Nastya almost always kept in touch, wrote to us several times a day. Vlad did that less often, because he didn’t always have mobile connection. Their conditions were very hard. Besides, Nastya and Vlad were in different Azovstal bunkers. During that time, they never saw each other though they really wanted to get to each other.

I remember Vlad telling me that in the bunker, there were many animals, cats, and dogs that were very afraid of explosions.

Their food supply was very limited. In the last month, they had nothing to eat. A plate of porridge and a small piece of sausage — as Nastya said, she stretched this portion for two days. They were always hungry. Nastya asked me to send her a photo of the food we ate at home. “This makes it easier for me,” Nastya said.

Chat screenshot translation:

Refused to Leave the Factory Without Her Beloved One

Commanders suggested Nastya and other women leave Azovstal. She was given an opportunity to leave the factory, but she refused: “As long as Vlad is here, I won’t leave!” It was at that time that Mariupol was heavily bombed, it was risky to leave the plant’s territory. Five female defenders who were in the bunker with Nastya got out of it and ran. One of them died during the shelling. Four of them left the city, but their souls remain in Mariupol. This horror will be with them for the rest of their lives.

Nastya died on the night of May 2-3. Around midnight. We chatted an hour prior her death

They were given an opportunity to wash. If I’m not mistaken, they collected water in a bucket, and all the people in the bunker washed with this amount of water. Nastya wrote to me that she was going to wash. She was dressed in pants with shower shoes on her feet. After washing, Nastya came out, and they were told that something was flying, some kind of a threat, and they should immediately put on helmets and bulletproof vests. Unfortunately, Nastya didn’t have time to do this. She died together with regimental psychologist Natalia Lugovska. My friend Nastya, my brother’s beloved one, is now forever 23.

Died in Hell, Defending Ukraine

The day after her death, I didn’t even suspect anything, I thought they simply weren’t available. I was just waiting for her to contact me. The guys who were with her in the bunker also knew Vlad. They were waiting for evidence that Nastya had actually died. Only when that was confirmed, they told Vlad. My brother learned about the death of his beloved one in the evening of the next day.

I chatted to him and asked if Nastya had contacted him. He wrote that she hadn’t. He already knew then that she wasn’t alive! I learned about Nastya’s death from my mother, Vlad himself told her.

I couldn't even imagine that it was our last meeting — when Nastya got on the bus after the winter holidays. She always insisted that I come to Mariupol in May, just when her contract was about to end. I imagined how I would come to them and see Mariupol, about which both Nastya and Vlad told me so much.

When she was gone, I couldn't believe that for a long time. For some time it seemed that it was just a nightmare. I would wake up and both of them would write to me that they’re alive and everything would be fine. Unfortunately, these were just hopes. Nastya — a brave, sunny, sensitive girl, always full of life and positivity — died in that hellish place, defending her country.

Chat screenshot translation:

We Need to Bring Our Steel Heroes Home!

Vlad has recently called our parents. He was told that Nastya’s body should be brought to the controlled territory of Ukraine. During his captivity, my brother contacted us four times. He told us that everything’s fine, asked us not to worry, said that it takes time. He was worried about us, asked whether we have funds, how we were feeling, how’s Nastya's mother.

When Vlad was at Azovstal, he realized he wanted to build his future with Nastya. They were really looking forward to meeting each other, even planned a wedding. In the end, they couldn't even say goodbye to each other.

My heart breaks from everything. It's so unfair: Nastya’s body is lying at the factory — we can’t even bury her properly; Vlad is in captivity and is called a criminal! I keep recalling the happy life after their return that I used to imagine. I knew they had experienced terrible things and would need psychological help, but I always told myself: the most important thing is that they were alive, and we’d manage the rest. How can we just live now after Nastya’s death? I don’t know.

My heart breaks for Nastya’s mother. Her situation is very hard. Her daughter was her closest person. She constantly worried, cried, and prayed for her beautiful daughter to come home. Life is so unfair! I will never understand why beasts supporting the war live, and such sunny and good people die.

Olha with her brother Vlad

This war took away a lot of sincere people, ruined the future for many, and simply killed them morally. Maybe, this all is for us to appreciate life and get stronger. But can we ever live happily ever after? I doubt.

I still hope that we’ll be able to bury our Nastyusha and visit her grave. I also believe that my dear brother will come back soon. Having lost his beloved one, he won’t be the same as before. We all won’t be either.

Ukraine has already lost many great people. So we must definitely get our steel heroes — the defenders of Mariupol — back home.