War is scary but living in the russian world is scarier. Donbas again experiences russian aggression

Last time they raped Donbass. Now they are doing it to the historic city of Kharkiv

Valentina Denisenko, Horlivka-Kharkiv

There are lots of casualties in Kharkiv. Lots of people are scared. This city has become our home, and they are ruining it. They destroy places meaningful to the citizens: Trade Unions House, Karazin University, Freedom Square, Constitution Square, Sumska street (Editor's Note: the main street of Kharkiv), Saltivka (Editor's Note: the biggest residential area). The infrastructure is smashed. We went to the farm again to get the greens . (Editor's Note: Valentina and her sister are growing microgreens in the countryside near Kharkiv). The city is preparing for defense. Our morale is high.

I admire our healthcare workers. They are performing surgeries and delivering babies under fire. Pregnant women are coming and going. Babies are struggling to be born. Then they spend their first days in basements.

Citizens help with food, cook hot dishes for hospitals and everyone in need. My personal hero is Tania Krohmal. Her team and she are delivering 2000 meals per day. And there are lots of such kitchens in Kharkiv.

All the citizens of Kharkiv organized and took up the volunteer movement. Some people are tailoring warm clothes or blankets. Some are delivering medicines and food from the western part of Ukraine. Others are unloading humanitarian aid coming from our foreign friends. I admire all of them. If we had cooperated in Donetsk like that, we wouldn’t have ended up with those “republics”.

We deliver greens to kitchens cooking food for the sick and wounded. Then we do our shopping if we have time. After that, we go home. Once I get to the phone, I call around. Is everyone alive? Is everything OK?

Kids somehow adjust: they are sleeping in hallways and going to bomb shelters. Mom gets it bad. She became old in a couple days

At night our whole family – my mother, my sister, the kids and me – walk our dog. It’s 10 or 15 minutes, and then we go home. Cause it’s a curfew and shelling.

All the utilities keep working. They sift through remains, restore the broken power and water lines. We have heating in our houses. Garbage is being regularly removed. Bread is being baked and delivered to the stores. Volunteers distribute milk, meat and vegetables. Supermarkets open up and manage the pressure of thousands of visitors. Fuel appears at some stations. Humanitarian aid arrives. We go on leaving.

They raped the land of Donbass. Now they want to intimidate Kharkiv and wipe it off the map. But this city has its historic value and a strong spirit. So they will just screw up.

I sympathize with those who hear the bombs for the first time. They take it much worse

Katherina Pavlova, Donetsk-Kyiv

One week of war. It’s better to spend the night in a hallway than in a bomb shelter or a basement. I went to a shelter on the first day and barely got frostbitten. My neck got stuck. So now I prefer to die quickly from a missile lying under a blanket. Cause, while no pharmacy is open, dying from pneumonia, cystitis or something like that seems much worse.

Having to rent an apartment doesn’t annoy me anymore. If something hits this house, I wouldn’t be so upset because it does not belong to me. I had my own apartment in Donetsk, and I lost it 8 years ago. Many thanks to the “Russian world”. I would miss some stuff I bought for my current housing. But I well know how it is like, starting from scratch having nothing. The main thing is that everyone I care about was with me. And my parrot. Anything else is a little thing.

I do not jump up anymore when I hear blasts and air raid sirens. I hear them like 10 times per day. A few months ago, I constantly got scared of loud noises and fireworks. That was after Donetsk. I sympathize with those who hear the bombs for the first time. They take it much worse.

When I go to work, it’s like the greatest holiday. There, I am useful. My work is my contribution to our victory. We inform people and cheer them up. I have wonderful colleagues. We fight on the information war front together. We quickly became close to each other. (Svoi: Katherina is a newscaster with Rada, the television channel of the Ukrainian parliament)

I don’t need Russian swearing anymore to express myself. It turned out that I know enough bad words in standard Ukrainian. It’s fun. It came to me at once on the second day or so. On the first day I switched to Ukrainian in my private life

I try to write something optimistic. Now it is very important to cheer up. It helps to hold on. But if you only knew how, for all these 8 years, I’ve been waiting for one thing to happen: that four-foot nothin’ with all his sick imperial fantasies is kicked out of his shit, rockets are crammed into his ass and lighted up for festive fireworks! It would be my personal holiday. Well, no, not really: the entire nation will celebrate. Glory to Ukraine! We will win this war soon.

I don’t want to run away again

Angelina Kasianova, Donetsk-Irpin

I was 11 when my family and I left Donetsk. I remember it well. It was a road to nowhere. We realized that we had to start from scratch. It was way scary.

Now it is the eight day of fighting in Irpin. On the first day, I had a panic attack. I couldn’t believe it was happening to us again, that there wasa risk of losing my near and dear. Then I felt something like an emotional blockage. The second morning, after a night in a basement, there was no fear left. Just anger and a strong desire for all it to end.

Now we are staying at home. If the blasts are very loud, we hide in the basement. It’s big, and a lot of our neighbors come there as well. My younger sister plays with them. It brings some relief.

Fighting goes on close to us. Our armed forces blew up the bridge between Irpin and Bucha to deter the Russians. Indeed, it was the only flash point in Irpin. But on March 2, two residential buildings were bombed. They are just a few blocks from my home.

My younger sister, Vera, is 2 years old. But even she begins to understand that it isn't thunder. It’s shelling. Actually, she is always messing around, having fun. It calms us down. Nevertheless, it’s a heavy stuff for a kid. Our whole family sleeps in the hallway

My mother, Daria Kasianova, is a program director of the SOS Children's Villages Ukraine International Charitable Foundation. I can see she is in shock. But, as a real fighter, she is working and evacuating people again, just like she used to do in 2014.

For really, it is the third day that my mother has been searching for a safe way to leave Irpin. But opinions of my family members diverge radically. I don’t see any sense in running. But I don’t want my sister to experience all those things. My grandma doesn’t wanna leave at all. I would better stay with her.

Our neighbors, with whom we are staying in the basement, know that we are displaced persons. Some of them are ones, too, and not many of us want to run away again

I am scared. But living in the “Russian world” scares me much more

Anastasia Stepanova, Donetsk-Kyiv

I live near Dorogozhychi metro station. Babyn Yar and the TV tower are nearby. On March 1, there was a lot of heat here. At night, there was a missile attack on theTV tower, with 5 people killed. They hit Babyn Yar. It’s a place where during the Holocaust the Nazis had shot 100,000 Kyiv citizens, mostly Jews. This place was turned into a mass grave. I can’t believe those airstrikes were real. It’s so much on the wrong side of common sense.

We were in a shelter, but my husband went to take something from home. That was when I heard the first blast. I rushed out of the shelter, and the second blast caught me outside. At that point I felt the whole range of emotions, from fear and helplessness to anger and hatred.

Now I realize that, regardless of having russian origin, I never liked russians. And my inner voice didn’t let me down. I was abroad many times, but I never went to Russia. I have relatives there, but I’ve never kept in touch with them.

I feel responsible for my younger son, who is not always sleeping in a shelter. I feel proud of my older son, who is currently studying in Riga. As a concerned citizen of our country, he went out to protests near some embassies. He stood up to the russcists bullying him. His fight ended up successfully: those russcists were relocated to another building. I feel grateful to everybody who offers their help here and abroad.

However, when it comes to russcists, I feel nothing but disregard and contempt. They are scum. They are momma’s boys. They are the cheapest. Their children and grandchildren will live with this fascist stigma, isolated from the entire civilized world.

I want every Russian and every Ukrainian, who has not left the territory of the Russian aggressor, to remember, every minute and every second, that they are criminals and betrayers

We will remember it forever. I can’t hide my pleasure when I see how this colossus with feet of clay is falling before our eyes. How this zit is being squeezed out. I can wait longer to see history being created before my eyes. That’s why I don’t leave Kyiv. What if I miss the moment when Russia surrenders?

Am I scared? Of course, but living in the “Russian world” scares me much more.

I got an offer to move abroad, but I will defend Ukraine

Said Ismagilov, Donetsk-Kyiv

Our Islamic Cultural Center isn’t operating we have closed it [Svoil: Said is the Mufti of the Religious Administration of Muslims of Ukraine “Umma” in Kyiv]. But we have opened a center for gathering aid in a different place. Volunteers can bring there some necessities and donations for the civilians and for our armed forces.

I have a lot of offers to relocate to other countries, including the Islamic ones. But I deliberately do not move anywhere. I have already been forced to leave my home in Donetsk once. I will not retreat anymore. I signed up for a Territorial Defense unit. I will defend Ukraine. I will not leave the frontlines.

I’d liketo say that there is no doubt that Ukraine will win this war. We will become a more cohesive European nation. This war is tough for us, but for Russia it’s worse. I believe that after the war Russia will fall apart and will not exist anymore.

Surprisingly, I have peace in my heart. I’ve already been through a war. I was in occupied Donetsk in 2014. Later I served as a chaplain at the frontlines for a long time. Maybe that’s why now I feel peaceful. Maybe it’s that experience that makes me perceive all these things very patiently. Somehow I don’t feel any fear or panic. I feel anger and a desire to fight back. So, actually, I stay optimistic!

Those killing as are gruesome bastards

Yana Osadcha, Luhansk-Kyiv

When Western media published those maps of Russia’s possible attack against Ukraine, I couldn’t believe it. How could it be? How can their missiles be launched against us if our relatives live there? It was hard to imagine. Then, on the night of February 23, the so-called Luhansk and Donetsk People’s Republics” called upon Putin to bring his military forces. At that moment it became really creepy. Actually, after the Russian president’s lengthy speech listing all his grudges it became clear something bad was going to happen. But still we couldn’t believe it.

On the morning of the 24th, I heard the blasts and understood what had happened. I wasn’t in a hurry to wake up my family. I wanted them to sleep peacefully for a while. However, soon they woke up in this new reality. It was too late to leave. We didn’t want to go God knows where again with just two bags. Besides, I love Kyiv. It has become my home.

Yana and her daughter in a shelter

Of course there is a deja vu. On the one hand, it makes things easier. You understand that there is no need to spend the whole day in a basement during the war. You shall go there if there is real danger. But still you are afraid of underestimating it. You already know that there are different kinds of shelling. You distinguish the vehicles and directions by sound. You hear whether it is to fly past or hit something nearby. And the air raid sirens… My daughter got scared of them in Luhansk in 2014. Then during the peaceful life she forgot that sound. And now, when she heard them again, she felt that tension a second time. She grows up in a time of war. Then she was 5, now she is 12. She barely remembers Luhansk, but she will remember Kyiv.

Most of all I worry about my child. Like many of her peers, she is an open-minded kid. She studies Chinese, watches anime, plays games, and talks to friends all over the world. She used to live inside her bubble. And then this blow comes. Classes are canceled, some friends relocate, others are staying home under the shelling. We try to take our minds off it. We make jokes, we play, we cook something tasty out of stuff bought or taken from our storages.

We only went down to the basement once. After that, we stayed at home. My mother and my kid hid in the bathroom or the hallway during the air raid sirens. I didn’t. I continued to work with the words “cram those fucking missiles into your assholes”

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. Now I’m in remission. It’s like a bad dream. After you have beaten one evil, another one comes. But the only thing we can learn from it is that you shall always believe in your victory. Even if they say you are going to die and show you proof, don’t believe it. We are alive for as long as we believe and fight. Is it possible that a smaller nation led by a comedian would win over a huge army of their arrogant neighbors? Hell, yes! We are on our own land.

Mostly I feel anger and pain. Kharkiv, Kyiv, Mariupol, other villages and towns – it all hurts. Some might say that we didn’t care when Luhansk was being bombed. That’s not true. There is no difference. Each time our Motherland bleeds. That’s why it will be tough to forgive them. Today I believe that Russians are Chekhov, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Grebenshchikov, and those who are killing us do not deserve to be called Russians. They are gruesome bastards.

How can we live through it? Every human has a huge potential. I know this after my two-year fight against cancer. You need to remain human, help those who are weaker, who are in a bigger need. Do your thing as well as you can. You can pray, too. Remember: the sun will rise.

These IDPs took their children and left for the EU. This is their actual experience of evacuation